ON Christmas Day 1914, British and German troops famously downed arms and played football on No Man’s Land.
Hostilities resumed less than 24 hours later . . . and the remaining four years didn’t play out well for either side.
The death of the Queen, Princes William and Harry’s beloved grandmother, must be the catalyst to a truce[/caption]
Right now, Princes William and Harry, both military men, are metaphorical Britain and Germany.
The death of the Queen, their beloved grandmother, must be the catalyst to a truce. For good.
Yesterday Harry paid a heartfelt tribute to “Granny”. “In celebrating the life of my grandmother, Her Majesty The Queen, we are all reminded of the guiding compass she was to so many in her commitment to service and duty,” he wrote.
“Her unwavering grace and dignity remained true throughout her life and now her everlasting legacy.”
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William and Harry know the Queen’s ultimate legacy must be the safe, seamless continuation of the British monarchy.
That means no petty squabbles, no varying recollections and no tell-all interviews to global stars on primetime TV.
It also means no whipping out of a dictaphone at any given opportunity, recording private conversations for use in a much anticipated, and even more maligned, memoir.
Harry must extend an olive brand – just as his big brother when he invited him and Meghan to view flowers at Windsor alongside him and Kate[/caption]
It is this, evidently, that William fears above all.
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His trust in Harry — and Meghan, who recently hinted at potential publication of her hitherto secret diaries — has been shattered.
With the very real fear that their every utterance, misconstrued or otherwise, will be turned into a new chapter, it is little wonder cosy double dates at Wagamama, Staines, haven’t been forthcoming since the couple’s return to nearby Frogmore.
The proceeds of Harry’s tome are going to charity. Obviously he must honour this worthy commitment.
But, as a gesture of goodwill, he should tell his family exactly what is in it. Spoilers ’n’ all.
A lot of complaining
Just as celebrities occasionally demand copy approval for interviews, so William should be offered an early preview of the (ghostwritten) autobiography.
For the sake of the monarchy which, arguably, has never been in such a perilous state of fragility — or transition — there can be no more nasty surprises. No mistruths, no unfounded litigious claims.
In other words, Harry must extend an olive branch — just as his big brother did when he invited H&M to view flowers at Windsor alongside him and Kate.
Similarly, if the brothers are to extend this rapprochement, they must, as has been mooted, walk side by side behind their grandmother’s coffin next week.
William and Harry have a bond no-one can ever truly understand, or appreciate.
The Queen’s motto was “never complain, never explain”. No one exemplified a stiff upper lip better than she.
Since quitting the royal front line, Harry has done a lot of complaining and even more explaining. His bottom lip hasn’t stopped a-trembling.
Both he and Meghan have cited well-being struggles since moving to California. The pair of them, no strangers to therapy, have done excellent work in promoting mental health awareness.
And we shouldn’t turn a blind eye to their perceived inner turmoil. Perhaps, though, if Harry really wants to honour the Queen’s memory, he could discuss some of these battles behind closed doors. With his therapist.
Meghan, who must have wanted the ground to open up at Windsor and swallow her whole after her royal-trashing on Oprah, has thus far acted impeccably.
I mean, she’s even put her Spotify podcasts on hold.
She has smiled benignly, been hugely gracious to well-wishers and stayed in the background. She hasn’t made the death of Britain’s cherished Monarch about her.
They are, it seems, making a concerted effort. William and Harry have a bond no one can ever truly understand, or appreciate.
For the past two years they’ve been at war. Now, once and for all, is the time to wave the white flag.
So, Peppa’s no pig-ot, as Thomas and co Brake new ground . . .
PEPPA Pig has gone all LGBTxjdXR83+, and landed its first gay characters.
Last week, in an episode called Families, the children’s TV favourite featured two co-parenting lesbian polar bears. (Really)
Peppa Pig has landed its first gay characters as it featured two co-parenting lesbian polar bears[/caption]
In it, a character called Penny announced: “I live with my mummy and my other mummy. One mummy is a doctor and one mummy cooks spaghetti.”
The family then sat down for a meal together. Who knew? Lesbian grizzlies like a nice spag bol in front of ’telly as much as the rest of us!
Of course, not everyone is happy. A senior member of a far-Right Italian political party, who should probably be focusing on more pressing matters at hand, has appealed to state broadcaster Rai not to screen the episode.
Federico Mollicone, Brothers of Italy’s culture spokesman, harrumphed: “We cannot accept gender indoctrination. Once again the politically correct has struck, at the expense of our children. Can’t children just be children?”
They can . . . but only if trains can be trains. Yup, it turns out Thomas the Tank Engine is now getting its first autistic character, Bruno the Brake Car.
Which, let’s face it, is a WHOLE lot more improbable than a sapphic polar bear.
CAPRICE BLASTS MYTHS
BESIDES speed bumps and noisy chompers at the cinema, is there anything more annoying than a female celebrity who insists she “eats like a horse” but stays thin “running around looking after the kids/lucky genes”?
Pass me the KFC bucket, now.
So big-up to Caprice for telling it like it is.
The American model admits that, in her prime, she trained for two hours a day to stay in shape because she loved food.
“It makes me laugh how you get interviews from models saying, ‘You know, this is just natural, I eat McDonald’s, whatever I want, I was just born like this”, she adds.
“I just think, ‘You’re totally full of s***’, because what I’ve seen in the industry, most of the time it’s apples, cigarettes and coffee – that’s the diet.”
CLASSY RETURN
NEXT up, real polar bears.
If there was one show guaranteed to lift the nation, then this was it: the return of Frozen Planet.
One show guaranteed to lift the nation is the return of Frozen Planet[/caption]
Pandas, polar bears and penguins all dazzled in technicolour glory on Sunday night in a glorious, life-affirming 50-minute bonanza. One that almost single-handedly justified the BBC licence fee.
Apparently, for example, it took three years of blood, sweat and trial-and-error filming in Russian forests to land the footage of tigers entering bears’ caves. Something none of us knew we wanted to see, until we saw it.
Of course, the whole thing was expertly narrated by the implacable, dulcet tones of Sir David Attenborough.
Who, at 96, is the same age as our late, great Queen; a fact that is lost on none of us.
AS if poor Muick and Sandy haven’t suffered enough, now the Queen’s corgis are being packed off to live with Prince Andrew.
The adorable pups are being taken in by the disgraced Duke who gave them to his mother as a gift.
The late Queen’s corgis are being packed off to live with Prince Andrew[/caption]
While I’m no fan of Britain’s most useless royal, the gesture is, at least, a tiny step in the right direction on his long, probably neverending, path to redemption.
LECCY A REAL LOSER
AROUND 80 per cent of all new cars sold in Norway are electric, making the Scandinavian country one of the greenest on the planet.
Which is all v. admirable.
Going green like Norway is admirable – but we need to get the foundations in place first[/caption]
Except the price for charging an e-car at a Circle K – the Esso of the electric world – currently stands at £7.70 per kWh.
Which, according to Peter Imanuelsen, a Swedish political commentator, means it now costs around £75 to fully charge a Tesla . . . more than a standard tank of petrol, even in these over-inflated, Putin-boycotting times.
If the Government has its way, by 2030 there will be 14million of us silently stuttering along in e-cars, queuing to recharge our lithium-ion Duracells.
All to save the planet . . . and, er, money.
Three things.
1) If the source of energy to power these cars doesn’t come from solar panels or wind turbines, their CO2 emissions will be much higher than standard petrol cars.
2) The recycling of these batteries is an environmental timebomb – the process exposes the recyclers and their surroundings to lead, a potent neurotoxin that can damage brain development in children.
3) See paragraph 3.
Going green is admirable – but we need to get the foundations in place first.
FOR anyone wanting a little light relief from the blanket royal coverage, I can’t recommend BBC1 series The Capture highly enough.
Currently rattling through series two, it’s essentially a terrifying examination of deep-fake technology.
Starring Holliday Grainger, it also showcases the charismatic talents of Paapa Essiedu – a man now tipped to be the first black Bond. I’d give him the role in a heartbeat.
MOVING MOMENT
THE internet isn’t all doom and gloom.
A touching video went viral yesterday, showing a Transport For London security guard bursting into a spontaneous Italian-soprano aria alongside Anna Lapwood, a director of music at Cambridge University.
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The pair duetted, beautifully, on Handel’s Lascia ch’io pianga [admittedly not a banger on my Spotify most-played].
Simon Cowell: If you’re reading, give this brilliant woman – Marcella – a recording contract.
