DEAR DEIDRE: I managed to get my husband aroused enough in his sleep to have sex with me, but when I told him the next morning, he said I’d raped him.

We are both 28 and we’ve been married for a year.

I thought about it and he’s absolutely right - I didn’t ask for his consent

1

I thought about it and he’s absolutely right – I didn’t ask for his consent

For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

I thought it was a bit of fun. We hadn’t had sex for ages because of his work. He was always tired, but one night, I couldn’t resist him.

His eyes stayed closed and it felt so sensual having me in control.

I told him the next day and he shocked me, saying I’d raped him – and then he smiled and said it was OK, but if the boot had been on the other foot and he’d done something to me, how would I feel?

I thought about it and he’s absolutely right. Consent is key. I didn’t ask for his consent.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

He told me that even if he did go to the police, they wouldn’t take it seriously.

It’s made me question my motives and I feel terrible thinking what I did was acceptable.

DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, you’re right. You must always get consent.

If a person can’t give consent, because they are too drunk, have taken drugs, or are incapacitated in any way then don’t do it.

Men can be raped but this involves penetration. The police will take any report seriously and what you did could be deemed a sexual assault.

You’re lucky your husband wasn’t upset and he’s been understanding, but your letter is a warning to all to always get consent before sex.

NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE My wife had a strange phone call from another man in the night – did she cheat?

READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Luke’s mistress wants him to pluck up the courage to leave Georgia

GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like

Colourblind singer and Pop Idol star Darius Campbell Danesh made documentary on ‘how to live longer’ before sudden death

TRAGIC Pop Idol star Darius Campbell Danesh produced a documentary on “how…

Why did Mia Khalifa and her husband break up?

MIA Khalifa is a Lebanese-American media personality, webcam model, and former pornographic…

EastEnders is forced off BBC One in major schedule shake-up as Wimbledon begins

EASTENDERS has been dropped from BBC One in favour of Wimbledon coverage…

Sadie wonders what Lily is planning behind her back

.css-14dqn90{display:-webkit-inline-box;display:-webkit-inline-flex;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;margin-left:calc(4px/2);margin-right:calc(4px/2);} .css-12an5ma{font-family:The Sun;font-size:20px;line-height:1.2;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:0%;font-stretch:normal;padding:1px 0px;}.css-12an5ma::before{content:”;display:block;height:0;width:0;margin-bottom:calc(-0.261875em + -1px);}.css-12an5ma::after{content:”;display:block;height:0;width:0;margin-top:calc(-0.25em + -1.3px);} .css-11n0wbg{color:rgba(179,18,1,1);text-transform:uppercase;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;margin-right:4px;}.css-11n0wbg:hover:not(:disabled){-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}DEAR DEIDRE .css-1efa55o{display:inline;font:inherit;margin:0;color:rgba(34,37,38,1);-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}.css-1efa55o:hover:not(:disabled){-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}