THERE have been many great injustices over the years, but little feels more unfair than Britain’s thickest man being able to retire at 32 because he’s a multimillionaire.
Dopey Towie star Joey Essex, a man who makes the chimpanzee enclosure at London Zoo look like Oxford University, has revealed he is now so loaded he never needs to work again.
Joey boasted just two GCSEs from his time at school, having scraped a C in art and a D in woodwork — alongside a third D in general studies picked up during a TV show in 2016.
Yet despite this, Joey this week told The Sun he has now stockpiled enough to put his feet up for ever, having become a multimillionaire. But eager to stress that he’s not afraid to keep grafting, he added: “I guess I could, but I feel like it depends how much you enjoy your job.
“I quite enjoy my job, so it’s never really about the money, it’s always about keeping myself busy and just being happy.
“I’m only 32 — the best is yet to come.”
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Some of Joey’s recent “jobs” include launching a range of hair products, a dubiously named “Fusey” signature aftershave and appearances in adverts for Batchelors Cup A Soup.
He has also featured in a new promotional campaign for Premier Inn, after which he admitted: “I don’t feel like a lot of people know that there are places in the UK you can go to that is like a vacation.
“I went to Bath. I’d never ever been there in the daytime. When Premier Inn took me, it’s one of those places that almost feels like it’s not actually in this country.
“The whole place to me felt like some kind of museum. There is so much to do there.”
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It’s no wonder he doesn’t exactly feel worn out.
He also remains a stalwart on reality TV shows, having appeared on Celebs Go Dating, I’m A Celebrity and Ex On The Beach . . . and presumably Mastermind is just around the corner.
Although in hindsight, if the lad can make millions despite having the brain power of a jelly, maybe we should let him run the country.
Joey’s, er, words of wisdom…
“So the rainforest, it obviously rains on purpose, dunnit?”
On I’m A Celeb in 2013 Joey shows he’s green – but not in a good way.
“What country borders Wales? London?”
On Celebrity Juice the lad from the continent of Essex gets his geography in a twist.
“A square has six sides”
Need I say more?
“Look Reem, Be Reem, Smell Reem, Totally Reem”
Being reem, Joey says, is what we should all aspire to. For that very reason, it’s what I never want to be.
“Richard and Judy . . . Yeah, I know them. Are they the people who created the world?”
A comment so stupid I have to believe he was winding us up.
Rihanna legs it from nappies
No sign of dirty nappies for Rihanna[/caption]
NEW mum Rihanna ditched the dirty nappies for a little black dress on a night out with her rapper boyfriend ASAP Rocky.
The couple, who went for dinner at Emilio’s Ballato in New York, looked like they are taking the sleepless nights in their stride.
They have kept a low profile since welcoming their first tot in May and have yet to reveal the baby’s name.
Given the frankly baffling monikers the rich and famous give their offspring these days, I have no doubt it will be something wacky.
Britney pal Spears Kev
Britney Spears has had a tough week[/caption]
Britney was left red-faced after her ex-husband Kevin Federline leaked a clip online of her rowing with their two sons[/caption]
IT has been a Toxic week for Britney Spears but luckily for her, she has a killer lawyer fighting her corner.
The pop superstar was left red-faced after her ex-husband Kevin Federline leaked a clip online of her rowing with their two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, and gave an explosive interview with hurtful claims.
Britney’s lawyer Mathew Rosengart, who helped free her from her 13-year conservatorship, blasted Kevin and accused him of bullying.
In a blistering statement, Mathew said: “Britney Spears is a brilliantly talented, extremely hardworking icon, who is rightfully beloved and res-pected by millions around the world.
“The same, unfortunately, cannot be said about Mr Federline, who for reasons that are inexplicable, de- cided to give a gratuitous interview that has hurt the mother of his children.” He added that the former rapper and dancer’s decision to speak out about Britney and her parenting skills was “cruel, bottom-of-the-barrel stuff”.
While the singer is yet to directly comment on the leaked clip, her new husband Sam Asghari has slammed the move.
Rallying around his wife, the model wrote online: “I hope this is how she is with my future children when they act up.”
Sam and Britney tied the knot in an intimate wedding in front of just a handful of people – including Paris Hilton and Madonna – at Britney’s Los Angeles home in June.
Neither of her teenage sons was in attendance – something Kevin insisted was their own choice.
Next week Britney is tipped to finally return to the charts, with a collaboration with Sir Elton John.
Hopefully, after so much drama in her life, the focus will soon be just about her music again.
Brooklyn’s bride ‘n’ joy
Brooklyn is clearly still in the honeymoon period with his new bride, American actress Nicola[/caption]
Brooklyn looked smart in a black Dior shirt while Nicola dressed for business in a hound’s-tooth-print top and trousers[/caption]
BROOKLYN PELTZ BECKHAM is clearly still in the honeymoon period with his new bride, American actress Nicola.
The pair snogged in front of photographers at the Variety Power of Young Hollywood Event in the US.
Brooklyn looked smart in a black Dior shirt while Nicola dressed for business in a hound’s-tooth-print top and trousers.
They said “I do” in a lavish £3million wedding in April and are obviously still enjoying their newlywed status.
Given they’re both loaded, this honeymoon period is never going to end – as they’re not likely to argue over the chores.
LOU HAS FAITH
LOUIS TOMLINSON has wrapped up his second album – a follow-up to his 2020 debut Walls.
LOUIS TOMLINSON has wrapped up his second album – a follow-up to his 2020 debut Walls.
I can reveal Faith In The Future will be out on November 11, with its lead single being released in the coming weeks.
Louis worked on the album during lockdown and continued to hit the studio while on tour.
Despite the difficulties Covid presented, the singer revealed the recording process was an improvement on his previous effort.
Louis, below, said: “I’ve enjoyed the process 20 times more than the first album.
“There was just so many different opinions on the first album and me trying to find my feet coming out of a band the size of One Direction, so there was just so much going on in my head.”
The news comes just days after I revealed Louis is becoming an entrepreneur like former bandmate HARRY STYLES, who launched a nail polish and skincare collection.
Louis has trademarked a brand called 28, which covers everything from jumpers and tracksuits to baseball caps and bags.
With so much going on, it sounds like the only direction is up for Louis.
RONNIE WOOD is turning his hand to presenting and is joining BBC Radio 2 on Monday.
The ROLLING STONES rocker is sitting in for Cerys Matthews’ Blues show from 9pm.
He said: “I’m really looking forward to bringing my favourite songs from Chuck Berry, Muddy Waters, Jimmy Reed, Mahalia Jackson and more to Radio 2 listeners and there might be a surprise and a story along the way.”
Sunnie time
Danny Dyer’s youngest girl, Sunnie, is moving into the family business[/caption]
HIS eldest daughter, Dani, found fame on Love Island and now Danny Dyer’s youngest girl, Sunnie, is moving into the business.
The teen has joined her dad in Kate Nash’s new music video for her song Wasteman, in which he is seen giving her advice about a bad boyfriend.
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GLASGOW is the bookies’ favourite city to host the Eurovision Song Contest.
William Hill has put the Scottish city at 11/10. It is up against Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester, Leeds, Sheffield and Newcastle.
CHARTS
Singles
1. Afraid To Feel – LF SYSTEM
2. Break My Soul – BEYONCE
3. Green Green Grass – GEORGE EZRA
4. Not Over Yet – KSI ft TOM GRENNAN
5. Doja – CENTRAL CEE
6. Last Last – BURNA BOY
7. Crazy What Love Can Do – DAVID GUETTA, BECKY HILL and ELLA HENDERSON
8. Late Night Talking – HARRY STYLES
9. I Ain’t Worried – ONEREPUBLIC
10. B.O.T.A. (Baddest of them all) – ROSE BUD
LF SYSTEM beat competition from KSI and TOM GRENNAN whose new single Not Over Yet debuted at No 4 this week. The dance duo’s summer anthem Afraid To Feel has now topped the chart for six weeks.
Albums
1 . Renaissance –
BEYONCE
2. Harry’s House– HARRY STYLES
3. Curtain Call 2 – EMINEM
4. Equals – ED SHEERAN
5. Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 2 – CALVIN HARRIS
6. The Highlights – THE WEEKND
7. Only Honest On The Weekend – BECKY HILL
8. Greatest Hits – Queen
9. Sour – OLIVIA RODRIGO
10. Gold: Greatest Hits – ABBA
