DEAR DEIDRE: I think my brother-in-law is my son’s real dad because who else would buy their nephew a PlayStationⓇ5 for Christmas?
It’s been bothering me for ages. My son is eight and I’ve been married for 10 years. I’m 34.
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My sister-in-law and brother-in-law live in Dubai. They have no kids and they’re well-off.
I’m a mechanic so I don’t earn a huge amount but it’s enough to get by.
My son has never looked like me. He’s got curly hair and olive skin. I’m fair-skinned and I’ve got straight hair. My wife has olive skin and wavy hair.
My brother-in-law is 40 and also has olive skin and dark curly hair. He met my sister-in-law when she worked as an air-hostess and they settled out there.
My son is my world. He’s good at football and he’s a great kid but I’ve always wondered whether he’s mine.
My wife wanted a big family Christmas this year because she’s 30 and her parents are getting on and they’ve hardly been able to get together since the pandemic.
My sister-in-law and brother-in-law came to stay and we had a brilliant time in the run-up to Christmas day.
I bought my son a second-hand bike and I thought he’d be thrilled with it but when he opened the present his aunt and uncle had bought him, his eyes sparkled with joy at the sight of his PlayStationⓇ5.
They’re so expensive – I couldn’t afford to buy him one.
We were all thrilled for him – but then the penny dropped – he’s not my kid, he’s possibly my brother-in-law’s child.
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I’m not certain but they’ve got the same complexion and the same curly hair and when my wife found out she was pregnant, we had been having problems conceiving but she’d recently returned from a holiday to visit her sister.
Am I overthinking this or is it possible?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, it’s possible – but far more likely is that you have just made a very damaging and dangerous assumption built on absolutely no proof whatsoever.
Your son may not look too much like you but the genetics which determine skin colour, eye colour and hair are very complex.
Everyone has their own set of genes which are unique to them, unless you are an identical twin. That’s why full siblings often look so different from one another too.
My guess is that your brother-in-law and sister-in-law are feeling the magic of Christmas and wanted to spoil your son.
Talking to your wife about your fears could put your marriage in jeopardy and you wouldn’t want to risk no longer being a family.
I’m sending my support pack called Relationship MOT, have a read and it will help ensure you all have a positive future ahead.
