DEAR DEIDRE: I’m so worried about my son’s wellbeing I’m considering leaving my husband who is totally intolerant of him.
I’m 41, my husband is 44 and my son, an only child, is nine.
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My husband has absolutely no interest in our son and constantly ignores him, puts him down or shouts at him.
My son is old enough to be aware and has even started to ask ‘why doesn’t Daddy love me?’.
I’ve spoken many times to my husband about this and each time we’ve agreed he needs to take more interest but it never happens.
I’ve suggested he takes our son to his football matches, but there is always an excuse, I’ve suggested they go for days out, it never happens.
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My husband is more interested in spending time with drinking friends or looking at his phone.
I can see my son is losing all his confidence.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband doesn’t know how to relate to your son – this could be the result of a difficult relationship with his own father growing up.
Discuss your concerns again and make your husband responsible for a regular activity – reading at bedtime perhaps.
Suggest phone free zones; at meal times, when he gets in from work and your son’s bedtime.
Keep supporting your son and don’t give up on your husband. I’m afraid leaving won’t magically restore your son’s self esteem.
Your son is at an age where he needs his dad more than ever. I’d recommend buying your husband the book Raising Boys, by Stephen Biddulph, which explains more.
