First, the bad parts. Box Office Mojo says that “The Rocker,” the 2008 musical comedy in which this fictional ’80s hair metal band can be found, was a major box office bomb despite boasting a seriously impressive ensemble cast that would make “The Departed” jealous (Rainn Wilson, Emma Stone, Josh Gad, Jason Sudeikis, Will Arnett, Jane Lynch, Christina Applegate, Bradley Cooper, and Fred Armisen all perform). Critics didn’t love it either, hitting it with a disappointing 41% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
Inside the world of the movie, these dudes are hard to root for. The whole story happens because Vesuvius kicks out Rainn Wilson’s character, Fish, their original drummer, in order to secure a record deal and the opening slot on an upcoming tour with Whitesnake in 1986. At the end of the movie, after Fish’s new band, A.D.D. (which might’ve made this list if it weren’t for their lousy name), opens for Vesuvius, the glam rock superstars get caught lip-syncing and are promptly booed off the stage. For shame, guys. For shame.
That all being said, box office success, critical approval, and likable characters who rock with integrity are not requirements to land on this list. Writing great tunes, though, is. Luckily for Vesuvius, who lived up to their name by imploding spectacularly, they knew a thing or two about writing some certified ’80s rock bangers. Look no further than “Promised Land.” Hard to argue these guys conquered the world of rock with dumb luck.
