WHATEVER your view on the Depp-Heard trial make no mistake — it sends a very clear message to victims of domestic abuse in our country. It tells them to stay silent.
My 13-year-old son, who is not at all familiar with Amber Heard or Johnny Depp, started talking to me about the trial because of videos and memes he had seen on TikTok and elsewhere.
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He was watching clearly coordinated videos of people ridiculing a woman while she gave her testimony about being abused and controlled. Laughing at her.
Amber Heard is no stranger to a coordinated social media attack. She probably avoided most of it.
But what about the teenage girls watching those memes whose boyfriends tell them what they can wear, who they can talk to and where they can go?
The fact that they are seeing this stuff scares me.
“No one will believe you” is what that whispered to them.
Depp was suing Heard over a newspaper article in which she described herself as the victim of domestic abuse.
But did not name him.
That he successfully sued for defamation a woman talking about domestic abuse is chilling.
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If you think that this is just a psychodrama of the rich and elite think again.
Women are being sent legal letters to cease and desist or threatened with defamation cases when they write on Facebook that in the past they have been a victim of abuse.
The outcome of this trial tells victims of domestic abuse that they do not own their own story.
Just what message does this send to the young staff member in Parliament wanting to come forward about their gropey MP boss who is richer and more powerful than them?
CHILLING VERDICT
It tells them to shut up and stay silent.
When women spoke up in the #MeToo movement it felt for the first time that the power would shift from the abuser to the abused
Harvey Weinstein had lawyers working for him for years who silenced women with legal agreements. For a while it felt as if that power was changing.
But there was always going to be a backlash.
Domestic abuse victims will have watched the trial with quiet horror.
But the outcome of that trial tells them exactly what their abuser told them over and over again: “If you speak out I will come for you and I will win.”
Whatever you think about the merits of the case — or whose side you fall on — it does not matter.
What we should all worry about is how it silences women living with abuse knowing that they could be sued and humiliated if they tell their story.
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How you can get help
Women’s Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – [email protected].
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
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