A decision to accept Celtic’s offer was reached on the steps of an Edinburgh courtroom. The pain etched on a mother’s face said the ordeal had rumbled on long enough.
For over two decades her son, a former Parkhead youth player, had shouldered the burden of the historic sexual abuse inflicted by coach and kitman Jim McCafferty.
Before agreeing to settle a claim for substantial damages in the summer of 2019, however, he insisted on two conditions. The first was a face-to-face apology on the club’s behalf from former chief executive Peter Lawwell.
Jim McCafferty (left) worked with Celtic youth teams as a coach and kit man in the 1990s
The second was an assurance from Celtic’s safeguarding officer that the hopefuls of the future would never again be subjected to predatory paedophiles like McCafferty.
‘That was the only reason I agreed to anything,’ he tells Sportsmail over the bustle of a Glasgow bar. ‘That and the look on my mum’s face as we stood outside the court. I didn’t want a token apology, I didn’t want an apology for the sake of it. I wanted Celtic to apologise and I wanted to know that they meant it.
‘I have to say that the chief executive of the time was very good with me. I do genuinely appreciate that it wasn’t his fault what happened to me.
‘He didn’t have to meet with me, he could have brushed it aside and said: “No”. But he did it and it helped. I needed some sort of closure.’
Anger lingers on two fronts. He finds it inexplicable that Celtic sacked McCafferty — a full-time employee — for abuse in 1996, yet failed to prevent him returning to football with Falkirk and Hibs. Emails asking the club to provide promised updates on the findings of their own internal investigation, meanwhile, drew a blank.
‘It leaves me extremely frustrated that they have not been true to their word on that.’
Before agreeing to an interview, he asks for two further conditions to be met. A family man, he prefers to remain anonymous to protect his flesh and blood. And, despite his ‘horrendous’ experiences at the hands of convicted paedophile McCafferty in the 1990s, he has no desire to be described as a victim.
Celtic sacked coach Jim McCafferty — a full-time employee — for abuse in 1996
‘I totally understand why people use that word and it’s probably correct,’ he continues. ‘But I don’t want what happened to define me.
‘I feel a lot stronger now and, while being called a victim is not strictly wrong, to me it doesn’t feel right either. I just think I feel better within myself about certain things.’
Some wounds are harder to heal than others. He still finds it hard to say the name of McCafferty, the sexual deviant jailed for six years and nine months in May 2019 after admitting a series of offences against teenage boys between 1972 and 1996.
He also insists the ‘significant’ sum of money received in August 2019 was no compensation whatsoever for the mental health issues and sleepless nights of the past two decades.
‘We went to court for the criminal case against him,’ he explains. ‘My mum, my sister, my partner and a good friend who was at Celtic at the same time supported me.
‘We went to Edinburgh and it was the hardest thing ever to face him again.
‘There were so many people I’d never known or met who all wanted to see him found guilty. Every single one of us.
‘It was some form of solace to see him guilty and jailed. All you want is some form of justice.
‘After that came a civil case pursuing damages. We went through to the same place in Edinburgh with the same group and I just wanted to leave and come home.
‘I spoke to my mum and saw her face that day and I just knew it had to end. It had to end there. It was too painful.’
The anguish of his mother and father only added to his own inner turmoil. Progressing through the ranks of Celtic Boys Club to join the groundstaff as a full-time professional footballer, his dreams of playing for the first team were manipulated and exploited by McCafferty. The mental scars will probably never heal.
‘When things were at their worst, it was horrendous,’ he admits. ‘Horrendous. I’m not saying it’s not horrendous now, it still is. What happened will always affect me. It’s lifelong.
‘I’m not just saying that for effect. This is lifelong. You are working hard every day, you have a job and you have family and you prioritise all of them before everything else. You try to keep busy to blank it out.
‘If you’re sitting there yourself in the armchair at night you think, of course you do. We all think about the things that hurt us in life.
Celtic agreed to settle a claim for substantial damages in the summer of 2019
‘I still don’t sleep. I go to bed at 10pm to make sure I get some rest but I’m tossing and turning all night.
‘Trust me, if you speak to any other individuals affected by the issues we’re talking about they’ll tell you the same. You hate yourself.
‘I’m lucky. I never felt as if I physically wanted to harm myself. I didn’t feel that was necessary or needed. But I’m sure there must be some people who do feel like that and it’s so hard.
‘It feels like a form of shame and disgust. You hate yourself because you feel you should have done more. At certain times over the years I’ve thought: “I could have done something to prevent it”.’
The feelings of self-reproach were strongest after McCafferty was jailed in a separate case in 2018 after admitting sexually abusing a teenage boy in Northern Ireland.
‘If it hadn’t come out about what happened to that poor kid I might not have said a word,’ continues the former Celtic youth player.
‘I actually felt real guilt. Maybe if I had said something years ago it could have been different, I don’t know.
‘I saw what he had done to a teenager in Belfast and I thought: “No, that can’t happen any longer”.
‘I went to meet the police in Livingston and they showed me some pictures to ask me to identify who had harmed me. They all looked kind of similar but I knew him right away.’
After giving his statement to Police Scotland, one of the most difficult and traumatic conversations of his life had yet to come when he broke the news of what happened during his time at Celtic to his late father. He says: ‘That wasn’t easy because I felt massive hurt for him and my mum. That hurt me more than my own experience. The thought of hurting them was painful.
‘My dad was actually a Rangers fan. But he took me everywhere when I was a young boy. He took me on a tour of Ibrox and I still have a picture of myself in the Ibrox dugout.
‘I was really young at the time. And when I grew older he let me support the team I wanted to and that team was Celtic.
‘He let me enjoy my life and he was proud when I joined Celtic.
‘I’m still relieved I told him. I am hugely proud of my family and my kids and my grandkids now.
‘And I am also proud that I sat down and spoke to my dad and told him what had happened. It was obviously gut wrenching for him to hear, but he was amazing with me. He sat me down in his wee house and just said: “You’re alright son”.
‘There was no anger or asking me why I never told him when it was happening. He just wanted to help me. Anger would have been the worst thing.
‘If you are going through a hard time in life you just want a good pal you can trust. And that’s what my dad was.’
He agreed to an interview with Sportsmail because he wants to help others affected by the issues which shattered his own mental health. He supports the work of the Back Onside mental health charity and, asked what advice he would offer to those going through the process he endured, he replies: ‘I would urge them to stay strong.
‘It’s hard to stay strong when you are on the road I was on and you are having doors shut in your face and people refusing to accept things they should accept.
‘But what I would say to the people chasing justice now is that we can help each other. I want to help people who are going through what I went through. I have already tried a bit through one or two people.
‘I would love to work in this area and they can help me as much as I can help them just by having some sort of understanding and support.’
There are things he still needs some help with himself. Under the Victim Notification Scheme, the Scottish Prison Service inform those affected by a criminal conviction when an offender is being considered for release and to make written representations.
‘I actually had a couple of letters through recently telling me he (McCafferty) is due for a parole review,’ he reveals. ‘I didn’t reply. I want him locked away as long as possible.
‘But I have a lot going on with my job and family, and if I reply it becomes a process of back and forward and I’m giving myself extra stress.
‘I don’t want to go into how I’ll feel if he gets out. I have thought about what I will feel, but not in the right way.
‘Failing to respond might not be the right answer. But I feel it would only prolong the hurt I feel about it all. And maybe that has gone on for long enough.
‘I’d much rather think about the people who are no longer with us and try to help the families who are still fighting.’
