DEAR DEIDRE: I kicked my toxic mother out of my home, but she’s still hurting me from afar.
She lived with my family for two years, bullied my kids and almost broke up my marriage. In the end, I told her she had to leave.
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She’s 64 and I’m 35. I have two children aged 11 and nine.
I didn’t have an easy childhood – she was controlling and narcissistic and I never felt good enough – but I agreed to take her in after my father died.
It was a mistake. She quickly took over my home, criticizing everything from the decor, to the food, to the way we discipline our children.
She caused rows with my husband, 37, and made my son cry.
When she eventually left, she refused to pack up her possessions, so there are still boxes of her’s everywhere – like a final dig at me.
She now says I’m a terrible daughter who has made her homeless, destroyed her life and will bring on her early death.
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She told me she hopes my children turn on me, like I did her.
I feel so guilty and sad.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t feel guilty. You did the right thing for you and your family.
She’s deliberately pushing your buttons, as narcissists do.
You feel sad because you’re grieving for the parent you wished she could have been.
Counselling could help you to work through this and the issues from your childhood.
You can also get support from My Horrid Parent (www.myhorridparent.com) which will show you you’re not alone.
