DEAR DEIDRE: All we got for Christmas from our children was a roll of novelty toilet paper and a bottle of smelly soap – which had probably been recycled. 

I’m angry and upset, and my wife is very sad. 

We don't give to receive, but it feels like our children take us for granted and just don’t care.

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We don’t give to receive, but it feels like our children take us for granted and just don’t care.

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We spent over £800 on carefully-chosen presents for the children and grandkids and invited everyone for a lovely Christmas lunch, which took days to prepare.

I’m 60 and my wife is 61. We have three children and eight grandchildren.

What hurts most is the lack of thought. We don’t give to receive, but it feels like our children take us for granted and just don’t care.

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I don’t know if I should say something.

If I do, I’m worried it’ll end up in a huge family row, and we won’t get to see our grandchildren.

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DEIDRE SAYS: When it comes to presents, it really is the thought that counts.

Perhaps you could make your point more subtly.

Suggest that next Christmas, things will be different – you’ll just be buying presents for the kids, not the adults, and you don’t expect anything.

Instead tout the idea of a meal or day out that everyone contributes to.

NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE My husband walked out on me and the kids on Christmas Day

READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Mia searches for a Christmas present for Charlie while he visits his lover

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