KATE Lawler has admitted she felt “regret” over starting a family as she was haunted by “terrifying, dark thoughts” after giving birth.
The 41-year-old was honoured with a GLOMAMMA award last night following her open and honest journey into motherhood.
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Big Brother star Kate became a mum to her little girl, Noa, in February last year – despite having “never been maternal”.
In her acceptance video after winning the favourite new mama gong, Kate said: “It is the hardest thing I have ever done, it is challenging, it is tough, but it is so rewarding and it’s hilarious.”
She added: “You may wonder how it’s possible to feel so much regret when you felt so ready to create a new life.
“There will be times you wish you could be the person you were before you gave birth or wonder if you’ll ever be happy again.
“When you can’t stop crying or control the most terrifying, darkest thoughts inside your head… when you’re on the floor, unable to get up because you feel so broken, or notice feelings of resentment towards a partner who doesn’t have the same amount of responsibility as you…
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“When the sleepless nights, the constant fear that something bad might happen to your child, the anguish of not knowing how to stop your baby crying or when you doubt your ability to be a mum or dad becomes all too overwhelming – just remember, all of this WILL pass…
“You’ll start to believe in yourself and feel that you ARE capable of doing the hardest job in the world and you’ll begin to trust your instincts when it comes to knowing what your little one wants.”
Kate wasn’t able to make it to the Awards in person but sent in the heartwarming video thanking her followers for their support.
She was sat in her pyjamas in bed with her daughter Noa.
Kate has recently written a book, ‘Maybe Baby, On The Mother Side’, on her doubts about having children, mum guilt, post-natal depression, sleepless nights, and all of the other ‘taboo’ issues that come with parenthood.
The GLOMAMA Awards are the worlds first people’s choice awards celebrating the achievements of mothers on social media.
The event shines a spotlight on those who through their social media posts, inspire others to GLO, one post at a time.
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