A TEENAGER leaving home to go to university or college is a rite of passage for any parent.
But for Katie Price — whose 19-year-old son Harvey has complex medical and behavioural conditions and needs constant care — it was a heartbreaking wrench that sent her spiralling into anxiety.
6
6
In new BBC documentary Katie Price: What Harvey Did Next, which airs on Monday, she reveals she struggled to cope when her son moved into a residential school three hours’ drive away from their Sussex home in August last year.
But however hard the transition has been, she knows it is the right thing — for Harvey and for herself.
Katie, 43, reveals: “He’s starting a new life, and I’m starting a new life.”
Harvey — whose dad is former Manchester United footie star Dwight Yorke — was born with autism, septo-optic dysplasia which causes near-blindness, a learning disability and complex behavioural needs, and takes 25 pills a day to manage his conditions.
His bond with mum-of-five Katie is clear throughout the documentary, as the pair finish each other’s sentences, frequently kiss and cuddle, and make each other laugh.
It reveals how Harvey’s first term at National Star College in Cheltenham, Gloucs, is initially tough on both Katie and her beloved son.
But as he settles in, Harvey makes friends, learns new life skills and begins to live more independently.
Katie says: “You get parents saying, ‘I wish my child would be a lawyer, or a doctor.’ With Harvey, if he can go round a shop and fill up a trolley, or learn how to fold a towel up properly in the bathroom after a bath, or make the bed . . .
“I know how difficult that is for him, so for me that’s a big thing.”
Endearing obsessions with frogs and trains
Katie, who recently revealed she wants more children with current boyfriend Carl Woods, says Harvey’s absence has left a “void” in her life, adding: “I need babies and things to look after.”
A month after Harvey moved out, Katie narrowly escaped death when she flipped her car, following a cocaine and alcohol binge.
She pleaded guilty to driving under the influence and spent a month in rehab at The Priory, where she was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and given daily therapy.
In a moving chat during the programme Katie’s mum Amy — who has a terminal illness — recalls her horror at being woken by a call at 6.30am, and reveals her daughter sounded suicidal after the crash.
“It was unbelievable,” she tells Katie, breaking down. “I’m speaking to this guy who actually got you out of the car and he’s saying ‘I don’t know how she survived this’.
“When you say to me at the time ‘Why am I still here?’ — it’s awful for a mother to hear that. Imagine if anything had happened in that accident. How do you think Harvey would have coped?”
Although Katie was thrilled to have secured government funding for Harvey’s place at the £350,000-a-year National Star College, she admits she cannot “let go” — and even before his bags are packed, she is racked with anxiety about his new life.
She worries Harvey will miss “Mummy cuddles” but adds: “He’s a man now. He can’t just have me mollycoddle him the whole time. But I don’t think he’ll cope that well, if I’m honest.
“Other parents out there can see I’ve been an absolute full-on, hands-on mother to Harvey. I’ve brought him up on my own, just me, and he’s a credit to me.
“It’s really hard work, it’s draining and it affects your life. At the end of the day, you’ve got to remember that with Harvey, it’s not his fault.”
6
6
6
Despite her fears, Harvey is soon settled into his new self-catering flat, where he also has access to a fitness suite, on-site shop, regular lessons and a range of therapies.
But Katie — also mum to Junior, 16, and Princess, 14, with ex-husband Peter Andre, and Jett, eight, and seven-year-old Bunny, with ex Kieran Hayler — misses having someone to “nurture”.
She says of Harvey: “I’m used to 19 years of having him around me, living, breathing, smelling, the noise — everything. Then he’s just gone. How do I fill that void? I’m so used to having so much responsibility.”
The documentary shows an emotional Katie saying goodbye to Harvey, and urging staff to call her on FaceTime if he acts up.
Harvey’s condition leads to frequent violent outbursts when he feels anxious — and Katie worries she is the only one who can calm him.
At first, he struggles to adapt to his new environment, leading to violent meltdowns, screaming, breaking of furniture, smashing a door open and banging his head on a wall.
When calm, however, he comes over as loving, polite and engaging, with endearing obsessions with frogs and trains, and a huge heart.
He is seen in the show striking up a friendship with another resident, Lucy, who has cerebral palsy and autism.
He bakes her a birthday cake and sings Happy Birthday, before calling her the “best friend ever”.
Lucy’s burgeoning bond with Harvey makes it hard for her to see him when he gets stressed and violent with himself.
She says: “Harvey is very nice but it can get too much for him.
“It was very upsetting for me when he started to bang his head against the wall and I have to leave.
“I really want to teach him to become less stressed and do less things that are stressed.”
Although struggling with her own feelings, Katie says of her eldest child: “I’m proud of Harvey in so many ways. People have to remember I got told he wouldn’t walk, talk or do anything really and he does it all.
“He’s very challenging, as you know, so for him to go to college without me, I’m really proud about how he has adjusted. He’s coped really well.”
Katie admits feeling guilty when she leaves him after a visit, and her family reveal her mental health took a turn for the worse in the weeks between Harvey leaving and the crash, during the early hours of September 28 last year.
Sister Sophie says: “When I saw the police there, I thought, ‘She’s really done it this time’. She’s like the cat with nine lives but I looked and thought, ‘This is going to be a nightmare’. It was a shock. It was absolutely awful. She could have killed someone or killed herself.
‘Nobody but me to blame for getting in that car’
“Kate puts on such a front, you think, ‘She’s alright, she’s fine’.
“Clearly, she’s not. When people have mental health problems they’re very good at covering it up and Kate is very good at covering up when she’s not feeling right.”
Katie, who told the court she was driving to see a friend because she was “lonely”, tells her distraught mum: “There’s no one to blame for me getting in that car but myself.
“But if people could see, that night, what was going on in my head . . . I wasn’t telling myself not to get in the car. I just thought, ‘I need to go’. So I’m lucky nothing happened.”
Now seeing a therapist once a week, Katie adds: “I need to learn to cope when these situations happen because I don’t want to go into self-destruct.”
By the end of the documentary, Harvey is making incredible progress at his college, and is learning new life skills every week. For Katie, Harvey’s achievements serve to confirm she made the right choice.
She says of the college: “They offer him stuff that I couldn’t offer. They’re professionals, who make him excel in things that I can’t make him do.”
The devoted mum now says she is learning to let go and that there comes a point where you “have to let other people help”.
She says: “I used to think, ‘No, I can do it on my own’. But I have let go and he’s become someone else’s responsibility. That is hard, but now that I’ve done it, it is a massive relief.
“I’ve got a bit of a life back and I’m starting to get used to it now.”
With Harvey coming on in leaps and bounds, Katie begins to wonder if he could live alone after college, in assisted accommodation.
6
But whatever happens, she knows there will always be an unbreakable bond between the two of them.
She says of their relationship: “Harvey’s always been there. It’s unconditional love. No one can ever take that bond away from us, no matter what.”
Six months into his first year at college, Katie is more relaxed about his placement, and handing over the burden of care has made her enjoy their time together even more.
She says: “When I go and see him now, I can enjoy quality time with him and don’t have to do all the other bits.
“I love doing it all because I’m a nurturing person and I love being that mum, but I look back to how I used to do this every day and it’s exhausting. How did I even do it?
“That’s why I would say to any other parent out there, when their child gets to an age like Harvey and they go to college — trust me, it will be the best thing you ever do.”
- Katie Price: What Harvey Did Next airs on Monday, March 7, at 9pm on BBC1.
