DROP your Motorola Razr, pull up your Juicy Couture tracksuits and pause that episode of Wife Swap because it’s all kicking off this week.
First a Beckham wedding, then Britney Spears’s baby news, and now even a Kim Kardashian sex tape is apparently floating about.
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It seems we’ve accidentally jumped into a pop culture time machine and everyone is making the same joke — are we back in the 2000s?
Even Kim herself was shaking her head at history coming full circle.
In a trailer for her new Hulu show she said: “I can’t go through this again. This was like 20 years ago.”
She might have embraced 2000s style recently, with tiny sunglasses and miniskirts, but the leaking of X-rated footage is something Kim is unsurprisingly not keen to recreate.
In March 2007 a sex tape of her and slimy ex-boyfriend Ray J was released.
Kim sued the distributor Vivid Entertainment for invasion of privacy but settled for a cash sum thought to be around £3.5million.
To date, the clip has been watched more than 150 million times and led to Kim’s family’s reality TV show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
Now, years later, Ray J’s former manager Cash Jones has claimed he has a second part to the tape, and is toying with releasing it
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But in the trailer for Kim’s new show, out this week, she declared war, saying: “I’m not going to go through this again. I know the right attorneys this time.
“I know exactly what to do this time. I have all the time, all the money and all of the resources to burn them all to the ground.”
And Kim is not the only celebrity who is being haunted by the ghosts of her past this week.
David and Victoria Beckham were given a stark reminder of their iconically camp 1999 wedding at the weekend when son Brooklyn married girlfriend Nicola Peltz in a £15million ceremony in Palm Beach, Florida — without a purple throne in sight.
His parents wrote the celebrity wedding playbook with their bash in Luttrellstown Castle Resort in Ireland, and it appeared a celeb-packed wedding could be just the career starter for the young chef-cum-photographer-cum-model too.
But Brooklyn, 23, and billionaire’s daughter Nicola, 27, opted for a slightly higher-end affair.
The three-day extravaganza was dedicated to getting one up on Posh and Becks’s big day.
Instead of OK! Magazine, they invited Vogue, and Nicola’s £250,000 Valentino dress made Posh’s Vera Wang frock look like it came from Primark.
On Tuesday, nostalgia ramped up a gear when pop princess Britney Spears took to Instagram to reveal she had mistaken her fledgling pregnancy with Sam Asghari for a post-holiday gut.
She told fans: “I thought ‘Geez … what happened to my stomach ???’ My husband said ‘No you’re food pregnant silly !!!’
“So I got a pregnancy test … and uhhhhh well … I am having a baby”.
The announcement perhaps lacked the nuance of Britney’s announcement of her 2005 pregnancy with backing dancer Kevin Federline.
Then she rather memorably stepped out in a tank top with an arrow towards her belly reading: “I have the golden ticket.”
On Saturday Jennifer Lopez teased that she had big news for fans — but only if they signed up to her newsletter OnTheJLo.
As an email from “Jen” dropped in fans’ inboxes it emerged Ben Affleck had proposed with a giant colourful gemstone . . . again.
The year he first popped the question — 2002 — it was a simpler time.
Christina Aguilera’s Dirrty was topping the charts, the only game you could play on your mobile was Snake and Michael Jackson was busy flinging children from balconies.
Understandably, the story caused a gigantic stir — pop’s biggest name and People magazine’s sexiest man were gonna get hitched.
We learned we could merge two names — Bennifer — and squealed in delight at Ben in the video for Jenny From The Block.
Then days before the wedding, J-Lo ripped off her 6.1-carat pink diamond ring and said: “No mas.”
However, 20 years on, and the extremely private couple are only sharing the news with their nearest and dearest . . . oh, and Jennifer’s 45.2million Twitter followers.
If you like your love stories a little edgier, in 2006 Canada’s most rock ’n’ roll singer, Avril Lavigne, was busy marrying hydrogen peroxide fan and pop punk rocker Deryck Whibley, from Sum 41.
It lasted four years, but on Saturday Avril announced she had become engaged to a pop punk artist called Derek — Derek Smith, also known as Mod Sun, who proposed by the Eiffel Tower with a heart-shaped ring. Rock on.
Even Z-listers have got nostalgic this week. One-time EastEnder Danniella Westbrook is yet again having surgery to rebuild her nose after the ravages of a cocaine habit in the 90s — this time a rather painful procedure which uses a rib to rebuild her “rotting” cheeks.
Another who has somehow brought things back from the brink is former child star Lindsay Lohan.
By the mid-noughties she had become more famous for her diva-esque shenanigans than her artistry.
It turned out taking copious amounts of drugs, alcohol and very little food was neither good for your health or career.
At her worst point, directors refused to work with Lindsay, claiming her unreliability made her impossible to insure on a film set, so the movie offers dried up.
But somehow she’s turned it around with a three-film Netflix deal.
Meanwhile her club-hopping pal Paris Hilton — heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune — is unsurprisingly still quite well off.
She ditched reality TV yonks ago and seems back to doing what she does best — partying with other celebs.
This week she was out at a fashion do with Christina Aguilera.
While the two pals once used to only cling to each other getting sloshed on free booze at parties, they now . . . wear sunglasses too.
After almost 20 years, it seems some things never change. Next thing you know, Brad and Angelina will be getting back together.
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