DEAR DEIDRE: MY best friend’s husband says he has feelings for me.
I feel awful. How could I do this to my best friend, who over the years has done so much for me?
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I’m 44, and my best friend is 43. We met at university and have been joined at the hip ever since.
Her husband is also a mutual friend. He was on the same course as us.
When we graduated in 2000, they started dating. Within a year they’d moved in together and three years later, they tied the knot.
Their son arrived soon after. He’s 16 now and is my godson.
I’ve always been a bit jealous that they found each other so easily. I’ve had a few relationships, but nothing particularly noteworthy.
Because I’m on my own, the two of them regularly invite me to hang out with them. I often join them for a takeaway and some trash TV at the weekend.
Last month, my friend was visiting her sister but insisted I should still hang out with her husband for the evening.
I had a couple of drinks before I went round — it has been years since just the two of us had hung out — and I was nervous.
I caught him looking at me a few times and he was very complimentary, remarking how I was in great shape. I’ll admit I flirted back.
At one point, we were talking about how I’d spent my fifth Christmas alone. The wine had made me a bit emotional, and he pulled me onto his lap.
He hugged me and stroked my back. The sexual tension between us was so strong. Nothing more happened but it could have.
I felt awful the next morning.
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Later that day, he texted me: “I know you felt something too last night.” He said he wants to start an affair to see if we would work.
How do I get myself out of this?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You’re feeling sorry for yourself and very nearly came close to disaster – but you put your friendship first.
Now you owe it to your friend – and godson – to nip this infatuation in the bud.
Tell your best friend’s husband what happened was a mistake and there will be no repeat performance.
Your friend and her husband may well be going through a rough patch. A good mate would encourage him to work on his relationship rather than hide from it by having an affair with you.
Avoid spending time alone with him and busy yourself with other friends and interests. Over time the awkwardness will subside and your best friend’s husband will thank you.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you set the record straight without being rude.
