DEAR DEIDRE: OUR daughter has become reclusive, volatile and abusive towards my wife and I.
I feel like I have an angry stranger living in our home.
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I am 71 and my wife is 64. Our daughter is 29 and when she isn’t working, she is holed up in her bedroom drinking.
She began drinking in her late teens – and that’s when she started to withdraw from us.
Now she won’t move out or contribute to the bills. She has accused us of trying to make her sick and shouts at us that we “invade her space”.
She will only go in the kitchen when we are in the lounge and insists on keeping her food separate.
We can’t have anyone over because she is so rude and accuses them of spying on her.
Please don’t suggest we take her to the doctor as she refuses.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You are not able to change her behaviour – only she can do that for herself. But perhaps you can nudge her in the right direction.
Tell her for her own future she needs to start sorting herself out.
Be firm that if she wants to live with you the aggression and rudeness must end. She isn’t being fair to either of you.
You can find help through We Are With You (wearewithyou.org.uk). It offers free, confidential help through local centres and online to people with an addiction problem or those affected by it.
