DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner turns into a violent monster when he drinks and I’m so embarrassed and humiliated, I can’t tell my friends and family.
We are both 46. When he’s sober, he’s loving and caring but after these episodes, he remembers nothing.
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I’ve been punched, spat at and strangled. The things he says about my body are so vile, I can’t repeat them.
The next day, I get: “Sorry, I love you so much. I don’t want to hurt you.”
But then it starts again weeks later.
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I have started resenting him and I’m frightened of him.
We were planning on announcing our engagement but now I’m wondering if I should tell him I’ve changed my mind.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, you most definitely should. Unless he has a wake-up call to change, he will continue with this damaging pattern of behaviour.
You need to make sure you’re safe. If he remembers nothing, you could be badly hurt, or worse, the next time it happens.
Somebody who loves you wouldn’t want to hurt you.
Get further advice from We Are With You – for people addicted to drugs and alcohol and their families – at wearewithyou.org.uk.
