DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD an affair with the married man next door.
He told me he had no relationship with his wife but now he’s dumped me and I’m convinced I can hear them having sex through the adjoining walls.
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At night, when our street is quiet, I can hear them laughing together and I know then the joke is on me.
I’m 32 and single, while he is 43 with two young children.
Our year-long affair started when I locked myself out and he came to my rescue, prising open a window. His family were out that day at a birthday party.
I offered him a drink to say thank you, which turned into two — and we ended up having sex on the couch.
He told me he wasn’t happy with his wife but wouldn’t leave her because of the kids.
Since then we’d have sex in my flat whenever we could. I ended up falling in love with him. He told me he felt the same.
But last week he messaged to say he couldn’t come over, as his wife had invited friends round.
It made me realise how lonely I am.
The next day he ended our relationship, saying his wife was growing suspicious. He said I deserve better than him but I feel used and hurt.
He told me he and his wife didn’t have sex. So I find myself listening through the shared walls to see if he lied to me.
It’s never very clear but sometimes I think I can hear them being intimate and laughing together.
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I try to bump into him in the street when he comes home from work. I hope he’ll see me and change his mind.
I’m torturing myself and I know it’s not healthy. But it’s not like I can forget him – he lives next door.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex-lover has got one thing right: You do deserve better.
He has strung you along for a year, let you fall in love with him and told you he loved you, then ended things without warning.
But the fact is he always said he wouldn’t leave his wife. And he has been true to his word on that, at least.
I know this hurts deeply. In the short term, knowing he’s so close and you might bump into him will be painful and awkward. But once you start to get over him, it will get easier.
My support pack Mend Your Broken Heart will help you move on. Focus on meeting a man who is available and faithful and try to get out as much as possible.
