DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife’s best friend is interfering in our marriage.
She knows about a terrible mistake I made years ago, and has clearly told my wife she should leave me.
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I’m 39 and my wife is 40. We’ve been together for ten years but now my wife has moved out.
Soon after we married, I had a stupid fling. I deeply regretted it. My wife forgave me and I thought we’d put it behind us.
But she confided in her best friend, 42, who I know has never liked me.
When my wife and I started having problems recently, rather than encourage us to sort them out, her friend started taking her out a lot.
One night, my wife didn’t come home until the next morning and we had a big row. I said things I regret – I accused her of cheating – and she stormed out.
Since then, she’s been staying with her friend, who is single. She now says she’s not sure she loves me.
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Whenever I try to talk to her, her friend blocks me. I dread to think what she’s saying about me.
I’m worried my wife will leave me for good. If we could only talk, I’m sure we could sort things out.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife’s friend has no business coming between you. It does sound like she’s influencing your wife – and her motives may not be selfless.
But perhaps your wife is letting her because she wants to avoid confrontation.
Send her a message asking if you can meet alone. Don’t criticise her best mate, or you’ll make her defensive.
Make it clear you love her and want to repair your relationship.
Perhaps suggest couples’ counselling, too.
