DEAR DEIDRE: I AM married to the most perfect wife but am hopelessly in love with a woman at work. She isn’t a patch on my wife.
I haven’t told this woman how I feel and think I hide it well but I’ve felt like this for two years and it’s awful.
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My wife is stunningly beautiful, intelligent and kind.
We have two grown-up girls who are both very successful.
Our married life is still excellent, with great sex. I am still in love with my wife too.
We are both in our late fifties and have been married for 30 years.
My colleague is not particularly good-looking and doesn’t make much effort in her appearance.
But I am stunned by her personality, humour, voice and confidence.
Every time I’m near her, my heart stops and I clam up. She’s 41.
I have been making mistakes at work thinking about her.
I just want it to stop. How do I make these feelings go away? I am broken.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I am sorry you are suffering.
This is not simply some crush you have but an out-of-control obsession which is affecting your life and needs tackling.
You know you can’t have it all but you need to see it for what it is.
Even if we are in a great relationship, we all feel attracted to other people sometimes.
But we don’t have to act on those feelings.
My support pack Torn Between Two Women? will help you think this through.
