DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband died by suicide nearly two years ago and I feel like I’ve been stuck ever since.
We have two children who are now ten and eight. I’m 37.
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My husband was 36 when he died.
I put all my energies into the children and making sure they know that their dad loved them.
The truth is I don’t know why he took his life. I know he sometimes felt a bit stressed with work but he never wanted to talk about it.
My parents have been brilliant but my in-laws blame me for his death.
Soon after his funeral they questioned why I hadn’t told them about his problems.
They said they would and could have helped.
I explained that I didn’t realise how low he was. His father looked so angry when he asked: “How could you not know? You lived with him.”
It hurts and I do feel like I’ve let everyone down.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is totally normal to feel guilty after losing a loved one – even when suicide is not involved.
So many close relatives don’t realise how depressed those who go on to take their own lives are for the simple reason they often do not tell anyone.
Your in-laws are no doubt taking their own guilt and anger out on you.
Please contact cruse.org.uk (0808 808 1677) whose volunteers will support you.
