Vanessa Bauer has revealed she felt suicidal when, at just seven years old, she developed an eating disorder at the hands of her skating coaches who would brand her a ‘fat cow’.
The Dancing On Ice pro, 26, admitted she would force herself to vomit up to eight times a day while her trainers called her ‘ugly’ and argued her professional partner had developed back issues because of her ‘weight’.
Spiralling into a deep depression, she soon locked herself in her bedroom for three days where she contemplated taking her own life after becoming too ill to perform.
‘I forced myself to vomit up to eight times a day!’ DOI’s Vanessa Bauer has revealed she felt suicidal and developed an eating disorder when skating coaches branded her a ‘fat cow’ at 16
Confessing she was ‘constantly injured’ and would faint all the time, she didn’t skate without painkillers, having broken her foot and fingers.
Vanessa told The Sun: ‘The lowest point came when I told my skating coaches about my illness. Their response was, “You’re doing all this and you’re still fat?”
‘My whole life was food and I didn’t know how to get rid of these voices in my head. That was when I knew I had to get some professional help.
‘I knew that if I couldn’t make the thoughts stop, I’d have to end it all, because I had no future. My decision to get therapy saved my life.’
Oh no! Spiralling into a deep depression, she soon locked herself in her bedroom for three days where she contemplated taking her own life after becoming too ill to perform
The TV personality claimed it all began when she was a student at an elite school for skaters in Berlin, where coaches spoke to parents if their child had put on weight during weekly weigh-ins.
Before she had even reached the age of ten, she would compete with her friends over who had eaten the least per day, which had become a recurring game.
It wasn’t long before Vanessa was taught how to force herself to throw up by a friend when they were 12, a practice she believed her bullying coaches ‘knew and approved’ of.
Her morning started with one spoonful of oats mixed with water, which she would eat before starving herself for as long as possible in the day.
Tragic: Confessing she was ‘constantly injured’ and would faint all the time, she didn’t skate without painkillers, having broken her foot and fingers (pictured in 2017)
When she confided in her own coaches, the sportswoman was told the disorder was her own fault because she ‘wasn’t strong enough to keep going in spite of it all’.
She was replaced within a week and branded a ‘failure’, however one female coach with a history of her own eating disorders helped to arrange therapy for her.
Spending a year away from the ice to focus on her own recovery, she decided to quit the competitive sport due to its ‘toxic and horrible environment’.
And while the role model doesn’t have any Olympic medals of her own, she’s ‘skating to entertain people’ on the ITV show and is using her platform to educate others.
Vanessa wowed audiences as she won DOI alongside singer Jake Quickenden in 2018 before coming second with Strictly’s Brendan Cole earlier this year.
For help and support with eating disorders contact SEED on (01482) 718130 or visit www.seedeatingdisorders.org.uk.
Victory: Vanessa wowed audiences as she won DOI alongside singer Jake Quickenden (pictured) in 2018 before coming second with Strictly’s Brendan Cole earlier this year
